On a late night Skittles run,
I saw it
like a royal uber from the inner circle of the rainbow bridge:
a purple hearse in the Walmart parking lot,
as if Grimace and the Ghostbusters ganged up
to treat someone to the coolest last ride ever.
I wondered...
What did the drivers forget that spurred this errand -
Flowers?
Black Balloons?
Funeral Potatoes?
Surely they would know Walmart's coffins are only available online.
Also...
If I were to die today, what color of hearse would I choose?
Were the drivers simply dead on their feet?
Were the checkout lanes really that slow?
I saw it
like a royal uber from the inner circle of the rainbow bridge:
a purple hearse in the Walmart parking lot,
as if Grimace and the Ghostbusters ganged up
to treat someone to the coolest last ride ever.
I wondered...
What did the drivers forget that spurred this errand -
Flowers?
Black Balloons?
Funeral Potatoes?
Surely they would know Walmart's coffins are only available online.
Also...
If I were to die today, what color of hearse would I choose?
Were the drivers simply dead on their feet?
Were the checkout lanes really that slow?
Is this shrine to consumerism the location where someone wished to be buried
in their fleece 😀💖😎 pajama bottoms, too-tight tank top, and tie-dyed crocs,
somewhere between the Cheetos and $5 dvd bin
just in case the Egyptian pharaohs were right about the afterlife
and you ought to stock up on essentials you may need in the Great Value beyond?
And, am I choosing a similar cemetery as I enter, exhausted,
in my orange running shorts, Star Wars t-shirt, and grass-stained work shoes,
feeling my will to live wane as I wait in line,
expiring faster than the bologna slovenly restocked by some exanimate shopper
behind the Equate foot cream?
It kills me how they open the lane to my left
just as I place my items on the belt after waiting twenty minutes.
#SaveMoneyLiveBetter
